"When I got pregnant I was 27 years old. My marriage had some serious problems, but I didn't consider them big enough to terminate the pregnancy.

My pregnancy was difficult, but luckily my relationship with my husband was getting better and better. When I returned home, specifically after two to three weeks, almost my entire mood changed. My fatigue was great, I could not control my nerves, I was in no mood for anything and I found no joy in anything. Until I got to the point of crying everyday begging someone to "get rid of" me. I know that sounds harsh now, but that's how I felt then. What shook me and made me realize that I'm not well, was when one day on my nerves and in my despair I threw my baby forcefully on the bed shouting that "I don't want you anymore".

What is postpartum depression?

After the birth of their child, usually when it comes to the second or third child, many mothers experience emotional transitions.

Absolute happiness and joy for this pleasant event turns into anxiety, irritation, despair, negative thoughts and disgust.

All of these may be symptoms of postpartum depression.

Postpartum depression is not a simple whim or caprice of the new mom but an illness that needs special attention.

It occurs in about one in ten mothers and manifests itself within a month of giving birth. Of course, there are also cases where it can appear even 6 months later.

The worrying thing is that because it is not "socially acceptable" for a mother not to be overwhelmed with happy feelings after the birth of her child, many mothers who have postpartum depression do not admit it and suffer in silence alone with sometimes tragic results.

Where is it due to?

The causes of postpartum depression are found in the change in hormone levels that occurs after pregnancy.

More specifically, the levels of estrogen and progesterone - which increase during pregnancy - decrease after childbirth, affecting the psychological mood of the mother, who is already exhausted by childbirth and insomnia.

In addition, the stress created by the sudden responsibilities as well as the possible predisposition of the new mother to depressive tendencies can have a negative effect on her psychology.

Most importantly, it is not a disorder due to the fact that the new mom is not a "good mother", but an unwanted complication of childbirth.

Mothers suffering from postpartum depression are not intentionally harming their children or even themselves, although most of them do have such thoughts.

In most cases, postpartum depression resolves within a period ranging from a few weeks to about 2 years.

However, postpartum depression is effectively treated both psychotherapeutically and with medication, and there is no reason for a mother to suffer without help.

What are the symptoms?

The largest percentage of lechos present after delivery postpartum melancholia which causes the mother to be in a melancholic mood accompanied by unnecessary crying and emotional fluctuations.

It manifests immediately, is mild and does not last more than ten days.

In the event that the melancholy is prolonged and the symptoms become more intense, then we speak of postpartum depression.

Usually the symptoms of postpartum depression are a "down" mood throughout the day, the mother's inability to be satisfied with anything, loss of interest in herself and her baby, frequent crying, irritability, feelings of guilt , rejection or deficiency, the inability to concentrate, reduced energy, sleep disturbances, increased or decreased appetite and decreased sexual desire.

At the same time, there are disturbances in the mother's thinking and behavior that should not be ignored.

Her thinking is dominated by negativity and pessimism.

She begins to see herself as unworthy and finds it difficult to derive pleasure from her life and imagines the future as bleak.

Everything she experiences makes her slowly withdraw, become inactive and neglect herself.

Postpartum psychosis

In addition to postpartum depression, there is also the disorder of postpartum psychosis, which is rare, it is estimated that it affects only 1-2% of the udders and needs medical treatment.

Postpartum psychosis is characterized by confusion, auditory hallucinations, and hallucinations.

Mothers who experience postpartum psychosis isolate themselves, avoid contact with family and friends, feel disgusted with their baby, and are generally very reluctant to discuss their symptoms and seek help.

Sometimes the situation can become dangerous, with the mother showing the following symptoms.

Delusions: When the mother claims to be single or childless.

Auditory hallucinations: She "hears" voices urging her to harm herself or her loved ones.

Suicidal tendencies: Experiencing feelings of helplessness, inadequacy, insecurity, fear that they might harm their baby, and regret for just existing, many of these mothers are even driven to thoughts of death. Similar incidents have occurred, which is why it is considered necessary to take the mother to the hospital when the indications are present.

Which women get postpartum depression?

Women who are more likely to experience postpartum depression are those who have:

• Previous postpartum depression
• Depression that is not related to pregnancy
• Overtiredness and lack of sleep
• Hormonal disorders
• Some shocking event that causes the mother intense grief e.g. if a mother loses her first child it is possible that after the birth of the second she will "relive" the birth and death of the first child or problems with the husband e.g. lack of understanding and communication
• Serious family problems such as health or a divorce.
• Single mothers experience on the one hand abandonment and on the other hand guilt, anxiety and intense concern about social stigma, resulting in them being much more emotionally charged.
• The perfectionist women. Which are used to being perfect in their family, social and professional obligations. Something we all know is not possible after giving birth.
• Low self-esteem
• Strong symptoms of premenstrual syndrome.
• Small circle of family or friends to rely on and talk to.

Support from dad

• Adjust your schedule to the new reality.
• Arm yourself with patience and try to be understanding
• Show more interest in her. With simple things that you can't imagine, you can make your partner feel important, which is what women need at this stage.
• Help the mother, rest her in any way you can.
• Consult a specialist who will help you better understand the situation and help you deal with it.
• Avoid advice like "you're not the first or the last to have this happen to her", or "how do other women manage" or "is it because you're overreacting?" Not only are you not helping her, you are likely to stress and frustrate her more.
• Show your wife that you see her as a partner and friend and not just as the mother of your child.

Help yourself:

• Learn about the condition called postpartum depression. This will help you to recognize the symptoms in time so that you can inform your doctor.
• Give yourself time to adjust and be sure that you will find your balance again.
• Don't be hard on yourself. Everything doesn't have to be perfect.
• Avoid making critical decisions about important issues in your life in the days surrounding the birth and stay away from tensions in your environment.
• Try to be close to people who you know love you, care about you and will be there for you when you need them.
• If your family environment thinks that you need support from a specialist, don't refuse it. It will be for the good of both you and your family.
• Talk to your doctor and he may be able to recommend a psychologist or similarly trained person who through their experience will definitely help you.
• If your doctor thinks you should be on medication, stick with it, putting aside your fear that antidepressants will make you addicted.
• In the case of medication, give weight to the correct information and cross if possible the opinions of doctors.
• Try to externalize the problem that concerns you. But don't be discouraged if your spouse or girlfriend has difficulty understanding you.
• Attending a mothers support group can work wonders. Talking to other women with similar experiences will make you feel less alone and make things easier.
• Watch your diet. Quality nutrition has been proven to contribute significantly to a better mood
• Postpartum depression is often an event that won't go away "on its own"! She needs support from a specialist, perhaps medication and support from the mother's family and social environment.